Finding the Spark
I was only 18 when I enlisted in the United States Army as a Combat Engineer. I went through the mill just like every other grunt. We were torn down and rebuilt the way the government wanted us. Obedient, willing to act on instinct without overthinking, efficient. 4 years later I found myself looking into the mirror and no longer recognizing the man that I saw before me, I had aged in dog years over the last 4 years, and my sleep had become a broken series of naps strung together and called, in an openly bald-faced lie, okay. The nightmares were terrible.
I sought help and the doctors at the VA suggested I try to get out, meet people. They didn't understand that that was not a real possibility anymore. I started group therapy and realized that many of us shared a similar passion... history. I much like the other men and women in my group had struggled with many other forms of therapy, having spent time in individual therapy, group therapy, and had been on more medications than I could count at that point.
Many of us had the same issue, and for once we found a task, an opportunity to finally find some form of relief. The repetitious nature of history was comforting, and the fact that very few things could surprise us was a safe place. My treatment team urged me to start a podcast centered around the topic, as a way to get some level of socialization and community interaction. This served as the best form of PTSD therapy so far.
If you're interested in the stories of those who served before us, FEELING CREATIVE? recently published a Memorial Day tribute to five creative people who gave their lives in service, including a combat photographer, a musician, a painter, a poet, and a writer. Their stories are worth knowing.
I started with simple ideas, just sitting and letting a friend tell them a story rather than sitting in a lecture hall being droned at rather than spoken to. I found my creative spark. I found an inspiration in creating something that can help others as well as myself.
I started bringing in my best friends and making the episodes into group conversations about historic people and events, I found a way to start reconnecting with a part of me that I thought was dead. I found enjoyment again. I really hope that you dear reader can find this same spark in your life, find something that you’re passionate about and embrace the risk of trying something you thought was impossible, because sometimes what looks impossible from one angle is actually easily within reach from just a little different point of view.
Embrace every failure as we grow the most when we fail and keep doing what makes you happy. Stay creative and embrace who you really are. Remember the biggest obstacle most of us face when exploring creativity is ourselves. You can do this!
About the Author:
James is an amateur historian and US Army Veteran who proudly served in the 2nd Infantry Div in South Korea and around the United States. He has been happily married to his wife Brandi for 14 years and they have a son. He is primarily a disabled veteran but also hosts the Monday Morning Generals Podcast with his friends and co-hosts Mandy, Tom, and Travis. He continues his therapy and efforts to raise awareness about Veteran issues such as PTSD and Veteran suicide.
Recommended Reading: Memorial Day Tribute: Before They Were Soldiers, They Were Artists
